Who Christens a Shipwreck?

Ummm, I'm kinda nervous about this whole blog thing, but Mom says I shouldn't be because I'm a good writer. Welp, here goes.
*or*
If you are a LIBERAL PROGRESSIVE, then you can LEAVE this blog IMMEDIATELY!!!
*or*
Omigosh could you imagine what would happen if Orlando Bloom was to be the new Batman? Stop my beating heart!

I know what you're thinking: 'Bout time that J.P. Smith started his first blog and let us really know what he thin...... That's not what you were thinking?
.......
dammit.
...........
ah, dammit.

Well what were you thinking? I'd sure like to know, now that my ego has been teased like a pubescent boy at a lyrical dance recital. You know what? Save it. If I was in the listenin' business, the I would've bought a telephone. Yeah. Wouldn't have made much sense to have started this blog if I was in the listenin' business. Since you're already here, you might as well stay. Let's see if we can assemble a flotsam and swim on out of this mess. This is my blog (applause).

What do you want to know about this doomed voyage? Let's consider the sham title. Après Moi, le Déluge. Is it pretentious enough? I knew you'd love it. I used this a the title, not because I identify with Louis XV (though he is a snappy dresser), but because I think what he was implying way back in the 17whenevers also applies to our current state of affairs around the world. For tea party enthusiasts, or tea baggers, it's Après Obama, Thé Deluge. For environmentalists, it's Après le Déluge, Que? QUE?!? For the scientists at CERN, it's Après l'accélérateur de particule travaille enfin, obtenons-nous un parti de mousse (yes, they did)? You get the point, right? Things are changing fast, and it seems that Bob Dylan wrote his iconic song too early. Now someone has got to arise to the challenge of ringing the town bell after some ass hat already cried wolf, or after the British had already come, surprisingly with pleasant intentions, mostly wanted to catch up, eat decent food, and now I'm lost. CONCERNED READER: But J.P., doesn't your title's foreboding message and ominous red wave allude to negative feelings about coming changes? Slow down, Missy (Only women would have the patience to read all this air). You're getting way ahead of me here.

So in a nutshell, this will be my first public venture into my take on social issues (J.P., you've been anything but private). In hoping that I don't make any enemies (J.P., you've assuredly done that by now), my message will be laced with my charming and delectable plain speak (I give up). Three things I will promise you:
1. I will do my very best to not waste your time, though this is probably what you were looking to do in the first place.
2. No black jokes.
3. If after all my attempts to be interesting I fail, at least scroll to the bottom of my post for inspirational and insightful picture and quote that I will be adding to each of my weekly failures in public notoriety.

Welcome on the maiden voyage of this journey into death, life, and more platitudes. Please check back every so often. I really do appreciate your involvement. INQUISITIVE BUSYBODY: But wait, J.P. There's so much more you haven't told us! Like, why did you choose a Times New Roman font for your layout? Mister, now you're being pushy (there's a man reading my blog?!?!?!).


Above: Graphic concept of London's 2012 Olympic Tower. The architect of the project says the tower is meant to be giant rendering of London's Heathrow Airport

Quote of the week: “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” -Samuel Johnson