What happened?
The world changed, missy/sport. You see, your parents, like their parents before them, believed that you would benefit from a four year degree in a non-technical field. It worked for them to some extent. Start at an entry level position, work your way up to mid management (after all, this is the real world, the fun is over), then save money for your kids college (you won't forget to have children, will you? You deserve to suffer like your parents did, and, well, don't deprive them of that joy.) This was what your parents envisioned for you, and hoped that with this age tested, mother approved model of survival, they could finally escape to Boca to enjoy that time share. Well at least you've repaid their bad advice with a dream crusher. Take pride in the look on your father's face as he re-converts that world-class weights room into your "hang zone". Bummer, bro.
It won't do you much good to steam over your parents' advice forever (although the steam really helps to make those lattes quite delicious!). After all, who saw this curve ball coming? You were born in America's second hay day. With Ronald Reagan and God at the helm, nothing could go wrong in this country (Iran-Contra *cough, cough*, Sodom-Gomorrah *COUGH! OWW MY LUNG!!!*). Who knew you could end up like this. Hey, hey, you might want to take a break from reading, I think I hear some guy yelling over there about his cappuchino.
Things have changed indeed. That's a vague statement, isn't it? I'll clarify. Odds are that by age 25 you will have comparable debt to your parents, and you'll STILL be living with them!!! Even worse, you're finding out that the real wiz kids of this generation are in the tech industry, not the philosophy industry. That alone has changed the face of "cool" and "sexy" as we know it. Decades ago, you couldn't find a person who didn't equate these terms with red sports cars, dickheads, and yeah, mostly dickheads and half starved women. What is cool and sexy these days? Well, still all that, but more so, dammit, I'm such a good contrarian that I even outsmart myself sometimes.
I'll fix this. K, I'm going to need you to close your eyes and imagine a stage with a black back drop. Still with me? Super. It's 2010, millennium trois, part deux. Base is bumpin' bumpin' bumpin'! The crowd emits a squeal of excitement as a malnourished figure in blue jeans and a black mock-neck comes onto the stage with a, what the hell, is that a piece of glass? Not only a piece of glass, this thing does the unthinkable. It switches lights! It even allows you to connect to other light switchers to interact with their switching lights. Jules Verne never conjured up such a terribly cool device with such a terribly sexy creator and model. Times have changed indeed. Body by Auschwitz? Nope, body by Jobs! I guess if your parents had really loved you, then instead of saving for college they should have given you a busted-ass mother board and some rubber bands and told you to fix it. That's what the loving parents did.
So now what? You know all those second degree burns at the job are going to build on your rage until you can no longer force yourself to enter the building. Suicide? Don't be an idiot! I can't believe you would suggest such a thing. Oh, it worked for Foxconn, you say? Well did you ever stop to think that Starbucks hired you precisely because you are angsty. Get an internship for experience? Ahhh, you're killing me! Seriously, that was funny. Maybe you thought "hmm hmm hmm. Well, Time Magazine says that way more people have their bachelor's than in Mom and Dad's day. Maybe I'll go for a post graduate degree to level the playing field. hmm hmm yes yes." Fool. Only those who didn't learn their lesson the first time go back for a Masters. Odds are you'll be back at your same job in 2 years in a state with lower pay. Don't ask how I come up with these opinions, I just do. Wise-acres.
After all of my berating you for your naivete, perhaps its time I give you some words of encouragement or guidance..........
No, I think not. Don't get so mad! After all, I'm in the same boat. Even worse, sometimes I think about getting my PhD (shudder).
OK, well maybe a little hint. Stop thinking about your certain future without money; it's not going to make you happy anyways. And if you want to save the world, well, your neighborhood is the best and most appropriate place to start. Now get out there and be somebody, you champion.
This weeks pleasant, or should I say pheasant (heh heh) picture is brought to you by Chris Jordan. This guy is an awesome photographer who is changing the way the world is introduced to our many problems. This particular photo is one of many bird skeletons photographed on Midway island, the plastic remains from inside their stomachs were left completely unaltered, and come from birds scavenging or food amongst nearby trash heaps in the ocean. The exhibit, along with the rest of Chris Jordan's work, can be found here: http://www.chrisjordan.com/gallery/epu/
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